personalblog

longitudinal leadership. [pt. 3]

Natalie Price

Longitude measures both distance and time. Depending on your approximate distance to the equator, one degree of longitude is around 54.6 miles. The Earth rotates on its axis, and as we learned in school, it takes 24 hours to complete a 360-degree rotation. So if one degree of longitude is ~54.6 miles, one degree of longitude equates to around 4 minutes.

Leadership, less scientifically, can be measured by distance and time, too. I’ve been a leader in my current role for nearly ten years. Spanning the last decade, there were seasons when I led people poorly. There were seasons I shifted perspectives about people or processes I once held. I logged mileage with people through crucial conversations and regular feedback. The sum of my leadership so far is ten years plus the experiential distance I’ve walked with the people in my organization.

King Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun. There’s nothing inherently new about leadership. But what is most fascinating is that people can always learn leadership lessons that feel new to them. Cue distance and time. I was only a 23-year-old leader for one year. And so were you. In that year, I navigated life as a newlywed, in a new state, leading at a new company, in a new field. By the time I was a 24-year-old leader, I was an expectant mom who had worked through hours of conflict and scenarios needing solutions. I was not the same leader. I had grown. Longitude was at work in my life.

My dad often shares a variation of the phrase, “People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed or told.” I’ve found that to be true. I read the same book every January. And every January, I am impacted in fresh ways. Why? Because the time that has passed and the intentional distance I’ve traveled in my leadership have changed me. Old information can be received with new eyes.

This chapter of my leadership has tempted me to drift. It’s cost me a lot of time to process through what’s unclear and what I can control. Building leadership muscle requires endurance through challenges and takes time. And I’m tired. I’m really tired. I’ve let discouragement take me downstream. I’ve wrestled with tough decisions. I’ve stared at empty journal pages without a single idea of where to start.

As I share my final observation about leadership lately, I resolve to lead better at 33 than I did at 23. So I’ll keep looking to the lives of seasoned leaders, of resilient leaders, of humble leaders to teach me more. This is what they’re teaching me.

3) Leaders are lifters.

Last week, a leader shared a story with me I’ve thought about every day since. He serves as a leader in the middle of his organization, hungry to keep growing. Towards the end of our conversation, I had asked him, “What do you really need to hear as a leader right now?”

He shared that a year ago, he was riddled with doubts about his future. Until someone saw him, really saw him, and the small impacts he was having in his role, and told him so. He heard for the first time in a long time that he had what it took to be great. “Someone believing in me was all I needed,” he said. One person shared true words that lifted another person. And it changed the trajectory of his leadership and set him on a focused path to the future.

His answer to my question was that he needed to hear that he has what it takes to be a leader of his own company someday. He needed to be reminded again. Because leadership is long-term and it’s linear. We can’t microwave time or skip past processing painful things and expect to lead wholly.

I love his story because I can see myself in it so clearly. I need to be reminded to keep going. To dig deeper. To keep showing up. To have the courage to share the last ten percent of the truth, even if it costs me favor with people. I need to be reminded often that I have what it takes.

We kept talking about what the options are when you’re leading from a place of discouragement. And we decided there aren’t many. But one choice is to choose to elevate the people around you. To choose to be the infusion of positivity where there is none. To uplift someone.

Because leaders are lifters.

Lifters are people who encourage someone through words, their presence, their prayers, or their questions. David Brooks, in his book How to Know a Person, calls these people illuminators. They can lift a room with their spirit. They can speak power into people with their words.

If I were to measure my life by the number of lifters I have in my corner, I’m rich.

I learned that leaders are lifters from my dad. If this idea sounds original, I can take no credit. He sees people for who Jesus made them to be, and he never wastes an opportunity to tell people that. Throughout my whole life, when I walk with my dad, we always stop so he can tell someone he appreciates how great their yard looks and thanks them for the work they put into it. We pause to learn someone’s name. I’ve heard him tell his pharmacist in the middle of Sam’s Club that she does amazing work and she’s great with people, because it’s the truth.

He is the most authentic, naturally incisive person because he pays attention to the small details that make up a person’s life. And then chooses to tell them that what they see may as mundane is actually magnificent. He’s a lifter.

Rob and Lisa Burris light up every room. I became friends with their daughter, Grace, twenty years ago. I have since been on the receiving end of texts on my kids’ birthdays, a Starbucks dropped off when I’ve been at work, and impromptu invites for coffee and convos. When they heard I was traveling abroad, a generous envelope appeared right before my trip. A permission slip to have fun. If I were to write down all the ways they’ve illuminated lives, there wouldn’t be enough ink in the world to chronicle it.

Uncle Rob and Aunt B are everyone’s cheerleaders. They make you feel like their lives are better because you’re in it. What likely costs them time and effort feels effortless because they pay attention to each person’s unique love language. Then they learn how to speak it fluently. They always show up. In all the ways. The good, the hard, the fun, the heavy. With all the love.

My grandparents prayed for me every day. I don’t doubt that, I know that. I sensed it. In their later years, this is how they spent much of their time. They were excited if I shared something new with them, because that meant they could continue to pray for me, together. They may have been physically weakened with age, but they were the most spiritually strong. It’s not lost on me that Christians use the phrase, “I’ll lift you up in prayer.” If Gary and Janie Nelsen said this, they fulfilled it. Tenfold. Always lifters.

My friend Catherine asks great questions. Questions can open a person up to think, to interact, to share. Catherine is amazing at always showing interest in what a person may think or feel. She asks meaningful follow-up questions and responds thoughtfully. I believe this is what Amy Edmondson had in mind when she introduced the idea of psychological safety. Trusting that a person has an interest in what you have to share is not as common as before. Catherine is a lifter because she uses her wonder to encourage others by staying curious for their answer. Every time.

These are stories of six ordinary people, out of so many amazing people in my life. Some have been leaders in their professional lives; all have been professional encouragers all their lives. They lead their lives with clarity and intention. Their focus is outward, on other people. We all need lifters in our lives. We all need to be buoyed up when the undertow of discouragement threatens to take us under.

In a season where I’ve felt exceptionally disheartened, I’ve looked to the lifters for direction. And what I’ve learned is that they all go through challenges, too. But if I can speak a kind word, if I can choose to show up, to pray, or to offer someone the space to process by asking helpful questions, I may find the encouragement I’m looking for through lifting someone else up.

Leadership is powerful because it’s the ability to influence and inspire others towards a shared goal. Leaders, by this definition, must elevate the people they lead. They have to invigorate their teams. Encouragement, then, is not optional. It’s vital.

Truett Cathy once said, “You know the best way to tell if someone needs encouragement? If they’re breathing!”

Be a lifter. You have everything it takes.

Take care & take heart,

longitudinal leadership. [pt. 2]

Natalie Price

For a period of time in middle school, I wore a forest green woven bracelet that read, “GO THE DISTANCE” in white stitching. They were handed out at a Christian sports camp I attended summers before. When it came to sports, I preferred being a spectator. Attending camp challenged me to try something new. Over several summers, I learned that I preferred individual sports like tennis and cross-country to team sports, like soccer. I never considered myself much of an athlete, but the bracelet gave me a small sense of belief that I had it in me.

I’ve turned those three words, “Go the distance,” over in my mind countless times since then. They lift me when I want to give up. They apply to weary seasons I find myself in, to finish strong. They remind me that life is a series of decisions. And all my decisions write the stories that make up my life.

Leadership is a long game. It’s navigating through circumstances with people. And it’s a series of decisions. Decisions that tell a story about what we value. Decisions that affect the future. Decisions that either unify our words with our actions, or divide them.

Some day, people will tell stories about my leadership. My kids will tell stories about my parenting. My co-workers will share what it was like to be on the other side of me in meetings. My resumé will have two dates between a dash. I can only guess at the stories they’ll tell, but I hope they say I was the type of leader who could go the distance.

I hope people will sense that I applied myself to every situation. That I gave my best and that I saw the best. Especially when I was tired and overspent. I hope they say I was a leader who lasted. Who weathered storms. Who built character during high tide and kept others from coasting during low tide.

I’ve got miles to go. And in this chapter, I’m trying to walk alongside experienced leaders who have something to teach me. So here is what has been illuminated for me lately.

2) Leaders listen to learn.

One of the benefits of working remotely is that I’ve been forced to pay closer attention to the nonverbal aspects of communication. Tone can hint at someone’s mood. Pitch can reveal stress. Pauses between speaking can signal thoughtfulness, confusion, or ideation. Nonverbals may suggest things to me, but asking questions helps me find out if they’re accurate. Sometimes I’m wrong, and read into things. But more often than not, people reveal themselves through what they don’t say out loud.

If there’s any skill I hope to develop deeper over my lifetime, it’s listening. I think I will always be a student in that sense. I’m discovering the wisest leaders share this sentiment. I’ve been on the other end of the line many times to know when someone is distracted or when someone is really interested. I’ve answered work FaceTime calls and have legitmately watched a person swipe mascara on their eyes, using the camera as their mirror. Not being listened to, feels a certain way. And I too, have been an inattentive listener many times.

I’ve cared more about what I want to say next. I’ve readied my comebacks, thought about what I’m making for dinner, texted someone else, all while acting like I’m listening. But what I’m learning is, 1) people can always tell if you care about what they’re saying and 2) leaders are motivated to listen because they believe there’s always something to learn.

Seasoned leaders often talk about who they were in the first half of their leadership compared to wiser versions of themselves in their second halves. When I listen to their stories, a common theme throughout is that they realized there was more power in listening than there was in having the last word.

I’m long winded. I can talk in circles and rack up minutes doing it. But when I get really intentional, and posture thoughtful questions towards others, my days get really exciting. In listening to one leader talk about their struggle to get organized, I realized I had heard another leader share the same difficulty. Dots connected as I listened. A solution became clear. We implemented it the same day. The tiniest of weights lifted for all of us. And we got to move forward a little lighter.

Other times when I’ve practiced listening, solutions don’t come dancing to the foreground like we hope. Sometimes, no matter their effort, life is still challenging. In those moments, relatability is all I can offer. “I’ve been there, too. It’s hard.” helps people alleviate more leadership pain than I ever thought. Leaders often come back later and say, “Thank you for making me feel like I’m not crazy.”

Reflecting on my growth over the past year, I still battle my insecurity. A lot of that is worrying that I’m the only one who feels a certain way. Listening so I can learn from someone else has shown me, I’m not crazy either. What I thought would erode my credibility with leaders, has been the very thing that connects us.

If a leader can listen with the intent to learn, they’ll always learn. That’s the gift of having agency. I am learning that leaders find solutions for themselves faster when you give them permission to name reality first. “You’re not crazy. That’s valid.” has been the most helpful thing I can say. It’s been an onramp to building trust.

Listening to learn builds trust. Trust builds secure leaders. Confident leaders are solution-oriented. Solution-oriented leaders go the distance.

The world needs stronger leaders and better listeners. Why not be both?

longitudinal leadership. [pt. 1]

Natalie Price

The first time I was called a quitter was by my brother in elementary school. We were playing the board game Sequence, and I had played enough to know I was dead in the water. So I quit. I got up from lying on my stomach, hands holding up my face. I threw my cards down where my elbows had indented the carpet, swiped at the game pieces, and started the short walk to my room. I was invigorated by the feeling of control I had. My brother couldn’t tell me I lost if I never finished.

“You can’t quit! Quitter!” he called after me. Something jolted inside of me. I thought quitting would be fulfilling. Instead, being labeled a quitter affected me. It wasn’t the last time I left him hanging in the middle of a game. It wasn’t the last time I gave up on something. After that day, it actually became easier to throw in the towel. I quit piano lessons, Girl Scouts, and using manners in my tomboy phase, to name a few. But it did leave a core memory. I never wanted to be called a quitter. It upheaved something in me I did not like and had to face. So I started to learn how to be someone who sees things through.

In the twenty-five years since that day in the family room, I’ve kept learning about life and leadership. I’ve become a mother and am still figuring out how to raise strong-willed miniature versions of myself while keeping multiple plates spinning. Over seventeen years, I’ve held two jobs in two states and have worked with a variety of people. In the last ten years, especially, I have had opportunities to lead both in operations and remotely. I’ve followed several leaders, and I’ve been in positions to coach younger leaders. Each has come with changes and challenges.

There is not anything new about leadership I’ve learned; it’s just been new to me. There is nothing I could offer that hasn’t been shared before by stronger leaders, said in a nuanced way or from a different perspective. Leadership can be both relationally complex and strategically simple. Every experience has taught me something valuable, and if I were to write each one down, I believe I could fill a small library of my own fascinations, lessons, and takeaways.

But collectively, three things have been surfacing for me about being a leader. Each idea has formed longitudinally over time. Because the truth is, there have been a lot of times over the last decade I’ve wanted to quit. I’ve wanted to quit my job. Quit relationships. Quit the field I’m in. Quit trying so hard. Quit leadership. Every time I’ve resolved to abandon the situation I find myself in, I can hear the 9-year-old version of my brother say, “But you can’t quit!”

And it stops me in the hallway of my heart again. So I keep learning.

1) A leader’s first job is to know themselves.

My favorite people to work with are the people who say that they are not self-aware, but would like to get better at knowing who they really are. Those people are unicorns and also, ironically, the most self-aware. It’s not as common to meet someone who can be that honest with themselves. I like that they know where their starting point is. I’ve been the person who has prided myself on how well I know who I am, but then am the first person to be blindsided by peer reviews and feedback.

Knowing yourself matters if you’re going to lead. From leading adults to toddlers, this has a tremendous impact. The key to business or building stability within a home is consistency. Whether it’s consistent sales growth or consistent bedtimes, stability stems from cohesive decision-making. A person who does not know themselves inevitably wrestles with inconsistency in their life. They are the first people to pick pleasing others over sharing their honest thoughts. They actually don’t have a choice in the matter. Because sharing honest thoughts requires them to know exactly what they think and why. Merging with what someone else thinks takes no effort and never has to answer the “why” question.

The “why” question helps inform what a leader’s motivation is. Any mom can answer her child with, “Because I said so. That’s why!” And no kid has ever been satisfied with that. Because it’s passive. It’s the same in leadership. A leader who can make a decision and give solid reasoning for it wins with people far more than those who can’t explain themselves clearly. People can at least disagree and live with grounded rationale more than they can accept a vague cop-out.

Knowing yourself requires that you spend time with yourself. It takes intentional energy in a world of autopilot, automatic, and AI-generated responses. Many people aren’t comfortable being alone with their own thoughts and slowly drift from becoming who they could be.

Leaders can absorb a lot of information about their industry or even about leadership, and still miss finding out what they were created for and who they were designed to be. To know yourself is to know the creativity and immeasurable love of God. It’s not pointless; it’s the entire purpose of life. Knowing yourself and knowing things about yourself doesn’t mean agreeing with yourself. I know I interrupt people when they’re speaking regularly. Not okay. I know I am insecure when people do not accept my ideas. And I desperately want to get better at that, too.

Knowing yourself helps you see areas for refinement so that you can ask for help. Asking yourself questions about what you think, what you feel, and what you believe shows you a realistic map of your growth. It helps you see the good work God is doing in your life. It can also reveal how much you’re operating out of your own pride and human limitations. It shows how much or how little you rely on the Lord for insight in your daily interactions.

It also positions you in a greater place to understand the people you lead. None of us has arrived. We all need help. Where would I be if I didn’t learn from leaders who went before me? Who learned the hard way? Who paved a path for people like me to take what they learned and keep going?

I worked for a leader for five years who put in great effort to know himself well. He was sincere, clear, quick to catch and apologize for his shortcomings, interested in others, and curious about what he did not yet know. I haven’t worked for him in several years, but I’ve never forgotten how valuable he made me feel to his organization. I still recall hanging up the phone countless times and feeling lifted by our conversation and the questions he asked me. He has produced more leaders from his company than corporate knows what to do with, and it’s no coincidence.

I had so many spiritual leaders early on who taught me that self-awareness is actually the gift of the Holy Spirit. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior of our lives, he gives us a helper. The Holy Spirit. Who guides us, who talks to us across the ticker of our minds, as my dad says, and shows us a better way to live. I watched them model humility to me when they didn’t get things right. They could name why they did what they did. They could admit the self-serving motivation, the why. They could ask for forgiveness without shame because their ultimate source of supply came from the finished work of the cross. They won me over to Jesus Christ with how they led themselves. And it was rooted in knowing their God-designed, purpose-intended selves first.

People can always tell if a person knows themself or not. Leaders, especially parents, who try to hide their shortcomings, erode their credibility without realizing it. It costs them their influence. But a leader who is in the process of finding out who they are is much more compelling. Their story is relatable because that’s what we all want. To be secure, consistent, confident leaders who can face our imperfections and keep learning.

I’ve been trying to ask myself more often why I do the things I do. I’ve been driving in silence more often, forcing myself to reflect on how I treated people or the reactionary things I said that day. I’ve been asking the Lord to refine the things in me that aren’t helpful to the people I lead, especially my kids. I’m still in process, and I’m not always consistent. But being in process means I at least have momentum.

The leader who knows themself first can model what a self-aware life looks like for others. Consistency can then compound. Self-aware leaders build trust, provide stability, increase creativity, and build a healthy infrastructure that can sustain uncertainty, say “yes!” to opportunity, and encourage human flourishing.

What have you been learning about yourself?
What has God been showing you about yourself lately?